When Uninvited, Yet Welcome, Guests Show Up in Your Life.
Doubters and skeptics, feel free to read and judge, this is really for those struggling with the idea that they think God has made an appearance, heard your prayer, or has spoken to you.
This has happened just a few times in my life. The first time I was twelve years old. I was with my mother waiting for midnight mass on Christmas Eve in a bilingual church. I did and didn’t want to be there. I did want to be there because I thought that being awake at midnight was just the coolest thing… really neat-o…I did not want to be there because I knew that the mass would run twice as long because the priest would also deliver the mass in Lithuanian to those who couldn’t speak English… More on that at another time.
So, I’m browsing through a copy of the missal that the church provided in every pew. Having a grand time really… when I got it into my mind to talk to God… I didn’t really buy all that religious stuff. Neither did my father or brother, who both were absent from this evening's mass.
So I prayed if your really real, shut off these lights.
Instant darkness.
I was dumb with a mixture of fear, disbelief, amazement, and happiness…
“So He is real!” I thought. Over the years, when I recall the incident, I have tried to rationalize the whole incident away… coincidence! But what are the odds that I would get it into my head, and pray a challenge to God, in the seconds before the priest would decide to kill the lights in order to set the stage for the mass that was about to begin? I had no watch, no foreknowledge of when the mass was supposed to start, and no idea that the priest would kill the lights when he did…
This incident would have a serious influence on my life, but first I would have to go through a lot of emotional pain, the death of my mother within a year of this incident, my getting involved with Satanism and Wiccan Magick for the next seven years, my struggle with addictions to alcohol and barbiturates, my leaving university after finally deciding on a major… a marriage and divorce…it, my life, was a mess… That was the first time.
The second time, I was crossing a busy street in a busy downtown area of my hometown. I had just come from an AA meeting, and I said out loud, “How can I know you will take care of me?” directing this short and very informal prayer to God.
“When have I ever left you? You are fed. You are clothed. You are getting well and free from booze and drugs. I will open a way for shelter and a means to pay your way.”
Again, I was dumb with a mixture of fear, disbelief, amazement, and happiness… then a car beeped at me and the driver told me to get the hell out of the way and to watch traffic better (well not in those words). It wouldn’t happen in my timing though… I had to be convinced that I was really an addict. So that reassurance would take some time to pan out. That was the second time.
I met a woman. I met a woman on the day I ended an engagement to another woman. I had had it with women, I thought to myself… Within two weeks we were engaged and within 5 months we were married…
On June 30, 1984, I was married to my wife Mary. During the ceremony, there is a part where the minister says, “If anyone knows of any reason why these two people should not be joined in holy matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace.”
In a flash we were in the throne room, well it certainly felt like a throne room. I felt transparent and very much afraid knowing that the voice could end my existence. The being saw through me. Saw me for who I was, and didn’t have to say a word.
The next day… as we started our new life together… I asked Mary if she thought anything “unusual” had happened during the ceremony… she relayed details of an experience that matched mine… That was the third time.
I had always wanted to know what God’s will was for my life… and what a life it’s been since that day…
There have been other times when he has illumined passages in the Greek and Hebrew scriptures to provide me with some point of practical application. Some little indicator that he was reminding me of something I had read, of promises he made to others and to me.
The point of all of this? If and/or when God speaks to you, you will have no doubt of who it is!